this is real, this is me.

Alright, pass few days have been a super hectic + stressful days.
Its purely mugging, mugging & mugging. ):
Mugging while im sick. ): Pathetic.
Next week is the mid sem test week alr, i gonna buck up.
After next week of exams will be our 2 weeks of holidays.
But, basically there is no holidays for me man.
I've got 4 projects to do during that 2 pathetic weeks. -.- LOL.
I think everyday will be meeting my classmates for projects. -.-"
This is crazy man.
Im getting so tired & sick of poly life alr.
Projects..projects...projects!!!

Tonight going to meet up with 4-seveners'07 for the tpjc band concert. ((:
Its been a long time since we meet up.
Miss you guys so much.
We gonna have a good catch-up session yea.

Ok, on a diff note, yesterday was suppose to be a good day.
Comm skills was the last tutorial of the day.
It got us all so frustrated at the end of the day.
Ms teo suddenly gave us a class assignment to do in groups & said that this is graded, we must hand in at the end of the lesson.
And at that time, we only left with 45 mins to finishing class. -.-
My group members all do until very pek che. Lol.
Its so difficult can, plus the time is so lil, how to finish man ?
Worst still, it IS GRADED!! Omg.
Basically, we just rush through everything & handed it up. ):
What a day.

Then, the day ended with a emotional mixed feeling inside me.
After school, i rushed down to tm to meet up with Joel for a movie.
Yes, i was so happy & excited at that point of time.
It all changes when i met up with him.
We watched 'Chornicles Of Narnia'.
It was a pretty good movie.
Alot of thoughts went through my mind when i was in the theatre.
I was sad. I don know why, but i was really feeling kind of sad.
Anyway, we went home after the movie.

Sometimes, i wonder if i should meet him.
Cos the feelings always turn out differently.
But, when i know im meeting him soon, i will be very happy & it serves as a motivation.
But why wont this feeling last??
Everytime i see him, i cant help but to feel sad,esp when we were about to leave for home.
Yes, i was hoping that time could stop at that moment forever.
I cant bear to see him go.
Esp yesterday, when i look at him, i could not find back the feelings in him anymore.
At that point of time, i know everything is really over.

He really makes me speechless.
I am sick, yet i went to meet him for the movie.
What does it means??
Im being crazy??
Im really speechless. I don know how to reply.
Inside me, my heart is torn into pieces.

I know im always contradicting with my own words.
I said that i alr treat him as a friend, but yet i cant do it.
Why is it so hard???
Why is god making things so hard for me??
Haven i done enough sacrifices??
I think its really enough...im afraid i don have the strength to hold on any longer.

I wish things were that easy....
I wish i have a time machine...
I wish i could continue lying to myself...

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing

11:04 am

Yes, yes! Wan Jun is still happy today. Hahas!
Cos i saw his tag. (((((:
Hee`s.
Anyway, im super stress up now.
Argh!
Tmr i will be entering hell, cos there is csa excell exam.
))))))))):
* teeth chattering*

SAVE ME.

Off to school. ):

My motivation; ((:

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing

9:31 am

WAN JUN IS A HAPPY LIL GIRL :DDDD
Hohoho.
Hee`s. My life seems to be back; my motivations & everything else. (:
I hope this happiness will last. Heh.
If you ppl are wondering why there is such a 360 degrees turn in my mood, yes, its becos of him.
I guess nobody else can bring such a great impact on my mood alr. Lol.
Anyway, i guess now i really treat him as a good friend alr.
I dont deny the fact that i still like him, but i guess its really time to face up to reality and accept it.
Yupp, he will be a great friend of mine now & forever.
I will be meeting him this fri! ((:

Csa excell exams this thurs. ):
Jia you, wAn jUn!!

Alright, yesterday went to meet Chiw Foong at tm to buy our laptop case.
After that, we immediately put our laptops inside the case. Hahas.
Soon after, we train-ed down to Changi Airport to meet the rest for pom project discussion.
We finished the project at around 5 plus & then decided to go to the viewing hall at t3.
We went there to see aeroplanes! :D
Hahas. Not to forget, cam-whoring session! (((:
As it was kind of crowded, we decided to go to T2 viewing hall after that.
Yea, when we reached there, Soon Meng started to emo alr. Lol.
Guys also got emo times huh?? :P
We continue taking photos & emo-ing. LOL.
Its a super nice day with them! Had alot of fun & laughters. (:
When we were about to leave T2, we saw our classmates!
Wei guang, Jonathan, Phoebe & Jessica. (:
They were there to do pom project too. Hee`s.
Had a lil chat with them & off we go.

Photos will be up in the next post. (:
Enjoy!

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing

12:43 pm

SOME PHOTOS TO SHARE ((:

They were all engrossed in youtube except JERYD!! Ahah :D

Me & Chiw Foong Lao gong!! ((((:

((:

Me behind the curtains! LOL.

The scenary outside ShiLi's house.

Chiw Foong teaching me piano! ;D

While i was playing the piano.Hee`s thanks chiw foong huh!? :P

She playing the piano! (:

Two hearts that i've folded.

JERYD EMO-ING!! HAH.

Im sick, at this point of time!? NOOOOOOOO!!!
Argh. I don want to fall sick now, when exams is round the corner. )':

BOOHOO.

Having sorethroat, flu, & slight fever now. =x

Worst still, tonight im attending my cousin's wedding dinner.

))))))):

Sigh.

Off to folding of hearts & tutorials! );

Nvm, i LOVE econs. Hahahahas.

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing

10:45 am

OMG YES, I've alot to blog about!! :D
Lol. Sorry, im a-lil-too-high-now. BAHHH. :P

Alright, today school was great! (Minus away the sad part. Lol. )
Was chatting with Chiw Foong during lunch about sec sch days.
Gosh, both of us were sadded after that.
Its true, wats past is alr past. No point hanging onto it.
I will rmb this always man, thanks girl! (:
Anyway, today we got brief about choosing the CDS for our sem 2.
There is this course that give us the opportunity to go overseas to learn.
Im considering whether to choose this since i feel like leaving this place for awhile.
Its a good opportunity eh??
Sigh. But, i cant bear to leave here man. )':
Aiyo...

Ok. On a happier note, I WENT FOR THE A&F INTEREST GROUP INTERVIEW JUST NOW!!!!!!!!!!!! :DDDD
Its like being a student leader for my course.
The interview was scary can.
Luckily i went in with my friends, if not i don know wat will happen.
Hahas.
The results will be out a few days later.
I so want to get into this! Please let me gets in. (:
Hee`s. Im making a change to my life now.
Yes, im trying out alot of things which is so- not- me in the past. Hahas.
It'll be a turning point of my life.

On the academic side, i now have 5 projects on hand.
YES!!! This is crazy. =x
Im meeting my mates on sun to do the pom project. ((:
And, mid sem test is coming like one week's time! *nervous*
I gonna & must do well!
God, pls don let anything affects my mood now. ):

Its gonna be the last thing im doing for you.
I promise.
I've learn to let go.
The only tough thing now is the process.

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing

7:50 pm

Worst day of my life. )':
Sorry, mass blogging another day.
Damn devastated now. )':

Why did i have to know the truth now?
When i finally decided to lie to myself so as to make my life better, the truth had to crash me down.
I would rather i not know the truth. Why must i found out?? )':
My life seems to switch to only black & white. Nothing else.
Living in the shadow of the past will just hurt myself over & over again.
But, i cant seem to get out of this situation.
why??
I hate myself.

Chiw Foong told me this, " as long as he is happy, you will be happy oso right?"
Is that the case??
I don know. I don know my heart anymore. )':
I want to leave this place.

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing

5:11 pm

Vesak Day today, which means no school. ((:
BUT, there is alot of workloads man. ):
Just finished my principle of management online test.
Not bad (: Though i aiming for full marks. Hee`s.
Now, im left with 2 csa online assignments due this sun.
Gonna go reserach on the ISP in singapore. -.-
There is essay test this thurs too. ): 600 words.
Im placing all my hopes on internet, hope it comes out easy.

Recently, i realised im getting more and more absent minded. Lol. My memory space seems to be running out.

Yes, and my gastric prob is acting up again. ))): NOOOOOO!

Ahh! ISP!! HERE I COME!!!! -.-

goodluck for ur performance.

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing

11:13 am

STRESSED TO THE MAX WITH CSA E LEARNING STUFFS!!!!!!!!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
KILL ME.

))):

4th month.

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing

12:12 pm

Yesterday's CCN DAY WAS A BLAST!!!! :D
Alright, yesterday ccn day started at 12pm to 5pm.
Everybody were feeling so high even before the whole thing started.
My class was even worst,we had 2 freaking hours of Econs lecture before ccn started.
Seriously, who will be able to concentrate man!? And its ECONS for goodness sake!
HAHAHAS. ;D
After the lecture, my class quickly chiong-ed to engine school to set up our stall.
It was a chaos man, esp at business school. =x
There were 'traffic jam' everywhere at business sch.
Everybody were shouting & screaming at the top of their voice to get ppl to buy their stuff.
My class were selling cheap hp screen protector, psp casing & hp crystal case. (:
The business were pretty good. (:

At around 5pm, i went to meet up with helena, cy & qr! :D
We went whitesands for desert + a lil shopping.
Headed home after that.

Today woke up damn early in the morning! ><
Meet up with my classmates & cy + helena in school.
Together, we went for the TP mentoring cca orientation.
It was alright, except the games part. :P
LOL.
We got to choose the school that we want to do our mentoring in, & i chose whitesands Pri sch together with helena & cy. (:
I think this cca is quite fun & interesting eh.
We are suppose to teach the pri sch kids maths & eng etc, and there is games session too!
Hope i can get into my first choice which is Whitesands Pri, becos i have a direct bus there.

The whole orientation ended at around 11am, and the 3 of us headed to TM for lunch.
Shopped around after that & home!

Tmr going out to meet Aaron & wei guang to pass wei guang his FA tut questions.
See, wat a GREAT classmate i am. ((: Ahaha.
Oh btw, i think i didnt mention before the ' relationship' among the 3 of us. :P
Aaron is my pri school friend & wei guang is my poly classmate.
And so coincidence, Aaron & wei guang are good 'brothers' in their sec school days.
So, the 3 of us actually have common friends. ((:
Hahas.

I failed terribly.
Why am i doing so much now?
When everything i do is so useless.

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing

2:45 pm

Hello bloggie! (:
Its been a few days since i blogged.
Well, pass few days have been pretty busy with tutorials + CCN preparation + csa mock test.
Im super stress up with CSA.
All the IT stuffs, ARGH! Im a noob in IT can. =x
Worst still, there are 2 online assignments due next sun.
One is group work while another is individual. )=
Hope everything turns out well.

Around 2 more weeks to mid sem exams.
I wonder how the exams paper will be like in poly. Haha.
My goals- At least 3 As.
I wonder can achieve anot. Lol. =x

Anyway, im darn looking forward to tmr's CCN DAY!!!!!!!! :DDDD
My class will be selling IT stuffs!
Our careperson didnt get a good location for us. )= BOOHOO.
We will be selling things at engine school, and its at the very end of engine sch.
Whoo! My clique loves engine school! HAHAHAS. :P

And, there is Mentoring orientation on sat! :D

I wish i have a time machine.

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing

7:39 pm

Alright, today went to school at 10am to meet up with my POM group members to discuss about the project.
Did quite alot and we went outside tp for lunch together.
After everything, we decided to sit down & chat since our lesson only starts at 4pm.
Had financial accounting tutorial till 6pm.
Headache! ><
Its really challenging, but i like it. Hahas. :D
Our lecturer says that A&F students love money alot thats why we choose A&F.
Lol.
I think by the end of year 1, all of us will hate money to the core man.
Everything is about counting money. *faint* -.-
Lol.

Tmr gonna meet my classmates earlier too,to plan for the CCN day which is this fri!! :D
Tired.

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing

7:49 pm

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY, MUMMY!!!! :D

Heh. Yesterday went out with my family to eat dinner as a celebration of mother's day. (:
After that, went to my grandma's house.
Hav a lil chat & headed home at around 9pm.

Having gastric pain again. ><
So many tutorials + projects to do.
My goodness! O.o
All the research are driving me mad.
How great will poly life be without all these irritating datelines for project.
LOL.
Anyway, i haven gotten my blazer for project presentation yet.
Gonna go hunt for it soon.

And to that self-claim-cute-person, jia you for your exam ar!
Burn more books & drink it. Ahahas. :P

Lastly, HAPPY EARLY 17TH BIRTHDAY TO WEI GUANG & MANDY :DDD

A tough process...

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing

11:06 am

I've decided to let go completely, not holding on to anything alr.
I told myself its just an accidental occurance.
Nothing gonna work out between you & me.
Force myself to believe in this.
A twist in my life- 27 April '06 to 17 Jan' 08. (:
I will take it as one of my happiest moments in my life.
Gone with the wind .Forever.

A new chapter of my life...(:

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing

5:25 pm

JOEL. During our meet-up day (:

HEE. :P

Me again. :P

US! :D

1A06-ers! ((:

My backview. Thanks to Chiw Foong huh!? :D

Their backviews. Heh :P

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing

8:06 pm

Alright, i shall give a detailed post on the past few days.

TUES. Its a super fun day with my clique. (((:
We went out to TM to catch a movie before school starts at 4pm.
We cam-whored alot! :D
Met them at 11am & watched the movie- Dance of the dragon.
I simply love the dance! :D
Ahah. After that, we lunch-ed at the foodcourt & then bus-ed to school.
After school,i went to meet up with helena, cy & qr! :D
Together, we went to the Visual Central meeting.
All the photography efffects are really cool man. :P
Anyway, i've signed up for the basic photograhy course & the events photograher course. (:
Hope it gonna be fun!

WED & THURS. Nothing much. Usual school routine.

FRI (Today). Had lecture early morning at 9am.
Financial accounting is getting more and more tough.
I hate the doing of balance sheet man.
All the numbers....omg! O.o
I cant believe this will be my job in future. HAH.
After this is Econs lecture. It ended 1 hour earlier.
So, it turns out that we had 3 hours of break before communication skills tutorial.
My clique went to Shi Li house to eat & rest during the break time.
Her house is a condo & its super nice can.
Envious of her. (:
We went back to school for comm skills after that.

Im still very worried for my excell project.
Gosh! i really can die man.
Gonna flunk it like dunno wat crap. ):
Ahhhh!
No! Failure is never in my dictionary.
JIA YOU AH!!!!!
*Laughs*

Photos up in the next post. (:

Fate is really amazing.
It can cause a twist in ur life, regardless good or bad.

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing

7:40 pm

Im dying soon.
Drown in projects + tutorials + e learning assignments. ))):
Down with alot of stress now. ):
Currently, i have 5 projects on hand. )))):
I need my source of motivation but, where is it?

The project that im most stress with is the excell individual project.
I know nuts about it.
Wonder how im going to die. -.-
HELPPPP!!!

Now, im waiting for my dear chiw foong to send me the final draft for comm skills outline.
Gonna submit tmr. -.-
STRESS is the word.

Im glad to have a bunch of great friends around me. ((:
Without you girls, my life wont be so smooth.
Esp my chiw foong lao gong! Ahahahas. :D
And not to forget, the rest of 1A06-ers! (:

To Stephen,
im not & never a promise breaker :D

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing

8:52 pm

Im beginning to love econs. (((:
This is weird.
HAH.

Details another day.

I don want tmr to arrive.
I detest thurs the most, cos there is csa lab session for 3 freaking hours! >_<
BAHH.

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing

7:30 pm

Wan Jun is HAPPY! :D HEE.

Lesson today starts at 4pm, sianz. -.-

I cant wait for tmr! Ahah.
VC preliminary meeting, 6 to 8pm. ((:
I have no idea why i suddenly become so enthu about the cca. LOL.
I guess its gonna be a new experience for me.

There is a communication skills test coming up.
We have to write a 600 words essay. ):
Gonna go do research on it soon.

Around 4 more weeks to mid sem exams.
Gosh! Its like so fast can.
JIA YOU JIA YOU! (:
My motivation is back. (:

Its as if my entire memory space is trying very hard to search back all the memories that used to be part of my life once and flashbacks kept coming back. Only then i realize how much i have neglected that person and the deep regret behind it.

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing

11:56 am

Yesterday was a fabulous day out with Joey & cheyee gf. ((((:
We went to a church concert at the Young musician auditorium.
The concert is pretty nice. I love the songs! :D
Ahahas.
It ended at around 9pm & the 3 of us walked to Raffles City and then Citylink to grab something to eat.
Joey went separate ways with us after that.
Aww, miss you girl.
We must meet up soon during the vacation with other gfs alright! (:
I miss sec school days. )':

Poly life have been alright so far.
Still, im afraid that i cant cope with all the business stuffs.
Anyway, its my first time learning all the management stuffs, so i guess being a lil lost is fine.
Jia You, jia you!
Self assurance works best. Hee`s.
Oh, im looking forward to the Visual Central preliminary meeting on tues. (:
Heh. Wonder how it is like eh?
I hope i will gets in. (:
Btw, its a photography cca that im signing up.
Sounds cool huh? Hahas.

flashbacks kept coming back to me.
I realise how impt she is to you...
Im letting go but, can i ??

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing

11:27 am

Life's been quite hectic alr.
More and more projects coming to me + never ending tutorials.
Sigh. Hold on, wanjun! Ahahas.

Yesterday went to E!Hub after school with helena, qr, cy & yizhen. (:
Had pastamania for dinner & went to shop around the mall after that.
Had a great time with them! :D

Chapter 2 of econs is basically animal language.
Just when i was about to like econs as i finally understand chap 1 , chap 2 had to spoil everything. ):
Argh! Who is the person who invent econs man!? =x
Oh, i miss A maths alot alot alot. :)
I realise engineering students need to study alot of A maths.
I should have chosen engineering course huh? Lol. :P

So near, yet so far.

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing

2:05 pm

Today is labour day, which means no school. (:
BUt,im doing 'labour' at home. LOL.
This time round, i really finished my csa individual research project. :D
The one that i did on sun was not really correct, so i went to edit on it.
So stress can. I hate everything that is related to csa. Argh!

There is alot of projects coming to us at one go.
Almost all the dateline is 21 July. -.-
Sigh. Our two years....

Alright, on a happier note, im going out with my besties tmr after school! ((:
And sat, im going to a church concert with joey! :D
Miss ya all!

School tmr at 9am to 5pm . (:

Oh, i wanna thanks chiw foong for cheering me up. Heh.
Yea yea, i will fall in love with our subjects now. Esp econs! Hahahas.

I shouldnt have place anymore hopes on you...
Maybe, we're not meant to be.
Becos....you cant commit.

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing

3:41 pm